


Part 1: The Realization

by Swoon21



Series: The Tiger and The Rabbit [1]
Category: Alice Nine
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-08-31 06:30:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8567800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swoon21/pseuds/Swoon21
Summary: Tora finds himself with thoughts and feelings he shouldn't have. Will he choose to ignore them or change his life forever?





	

**Author's Note:**

> I don't state the dates specifically but in my mind the events of this story take place in 2009.   
> Also: Please ignore the parts, they were assigned incorrectly, go by the titles.

[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/user/Swoon/media/Working/PartI.jpg.html)

Tora has always been renown for his perfect composure, his ability to stay focused and sober under any circumstances. Yet, lately something has been effectively disrupting his routine. He found himself restless and distracted and he didn’t like it one bit. For a long time he couldn’t identify the source of it. It started at rehearsals and then spread to other band activities until he found himself unable to focus most of the time.

And then one day it hit him.

“Hi, Tora!” The source of his turmoil greeted him with a dazzling smile. He just frowned in return. Good thing it was not uncommon so no one really minded his grumpiness.

“Tora, are you ok?” He looked up to meet Hiroto’s worried gaze. “You look kind of… out of it lately.”

“I’m fine. Just a bit tired, I guess.” Hiroto didn’t look convinced, but knew better than to prod further.

Tora began tuning his guitar but he just couldn’t concentrate. The vocalist was facing away from him discussing something with Nao. He was leaning forward, one knee on a chair his body creating a long beautiful curve. Today he was wearing a sleeveless shirt and it accentuated his shoulders and arms nicely. The pale skin looked soft and smooth and made you want to reach out and touch it.  
No, wait. What the…? Tora turned his head away. At the other end of the studio was Saga fiddling with his bass. Tora’s mind continued wandering. Saga likes to go around half-naked all the time, but I never pay attention to it. It doesn’t make me want to touch him… But then why is… He was so deep in thought that he didn’t realize he had been staring. That is until he heard Saga’s voice:

“Like what you see, Tora-shi?”

Tora probably looked like a deer in the headlights, but he quickly redeemed himself.

“As if!” he made a disgusted face and turned his attention back to the guitar. Saga only laughed.

It doesn’t even make sense… Tora grumbled to himself. I’m a guy!

 

“Ow! Careful!” Tora hissed.

“Aww, don’t be such a girl, Amano.” Shou said teasingly proceeding to apply ointment to the other man’s foot. Tora was half-lying on the couch with his foot in Shou’s lap. The live was great but as soon as the adrenaline rush wore off the guitarist realized his feet were covered in bruises. Shou immediately dragged him to a secluded dressing room to clean the wounds and apply some balm.

“It really hurts.” Tora said in his defence.

“Well, it’s your own stupid fault for walking around barefoot. We’ve been through this a hundred times.”

“But I like it.”

“Then stop bitching at least.”

“Hmph.” The guitarist knew the argument was lost so he turned away to save the last of his dignity.

The small dimly lit room became quiet. Tora looked back at the vocalist. He was slowly applying the balm to the small wounds. It felt really good. His touches were careful and tender and his face was full of concentration and something more Tora couldn’t decipher. He couldn’t turn away as if mesmerized. Watching those delicate fingers…

“Tora?” Shou was looking at him now a little worried. “Are you alright?” Tora felt trapped somehow.

“What? Ah, yeah. I’m fine.” The tall man said as he put his feet down on the floor.

“Wait! I’m not done yet.”

“Ah. I’m… I just realized I forgot something. Sorry.” He muttered and quickly left the room leaving a very confused Shou behind.

 

“Have you seen Shou’s article in Neo Genesis? He looks really hot! – Saga said around his glass of beer. Tora went drinking with Saga and the latter seemed to be positively inebriated. “Sometimes it’s hard to believe it’s the same person you see at the studio.”

Tora was uncomfortable with the subject, but it was pretty hard to make Saga shut up especially after a few glasses. It was ironic how he planned to get a few drinks to relax and forget about his little predicament, but in the end he still had to endure this. Saga looked in the distance with glazed eyes.

“He acts all coy but I bet he’s really wild in bed.” Tora scowled.

“You shouldn’t drink anymore. It makes you speak rubbish.” The guitarist tried to get off the subject. As if.  
“What? If we weren’t in the same band I’d totally do him.” – at that Tora spit his beer all over the table.

“The hell, man? I didn’t even know you swing that way.”

“Well, I don’t normally but I don’t like to limit myself with things like gender.” The bassist mused.

“Right.” I need something stronger than beer, he thought. Meanwhile Saga continued:

“But he’s not the type for one-night stands. … it seems he still didn’t get over that boyfriend he broke up with last year.”

“He what?” Suddenly Tora was perfectly sober.

That night the guitarist couldn’t get a wink of sleep.

 

In was still early morning and Tora was fuming. He must have looked like hell too since everyone gave him strange looks but didn’t ask. He got into the studio and headed straight to where the vocalist was sitting surrounded by some papers.

“Shou, we need to talk.” The man didn’t look up.

“Can’t we talk later? I’m kind of busy.”

“No.” Tora grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the studio.

“Hey! What’s gotten into you? You’ve been acting weird lately.” Shou wasn’t amused at all but still he didn’t resist. Tora did not reply.

They finally stopped when they reached the roof of the building. Tora was silent for a few minutes and the vocalist was waiting for him to collect his thoughts.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He finally asked.

“Tell you what?” Shou looked annoyed.

“That you… That you… Saga told me you were going out with a guy.”

The vocalist’s face changed. There was surprise and something Tora couldn’t identify.

“Would it matter?” Shou asked finally looking up.

“So… that means you’re…” Tora tried to pick his words.

“Gay? Yes. I am.” The vocalist said looking him straight in the eyes and the look was somehow disarming.

“But… how come you never told me?”

“I didn’t want things to get weird between us.” Shou answered.

Tora contemplated. Knowing your best friend is gay can definitely make things weird and very awkward. As he was thinking about it all of his anger faded like a mist replaced by something he couldn’t put a name to.

“Do you hate me?” looking up at Shou he saw the vocalist’s face was marred with uncertainty and worry.

“What? No, of course not. It’s just that we always talked about everything and…”

Shou shrugged. “It’s not something you tell when you meet someone and after that there was never a right time. Besides…” Shou added “It’s not like I lied. You just never asked.” And Tora realized it was true. Shou never talked much about himself and he just assumed that he doesn’t like it so he never prodded. But every time Tora broke up with another girlfriend Shou would be there for him. Tora would always drag him to some stinky bar knowing that Shou hated such places spilling all his sorrows and getting completely wasted. He was always too preoccupied with himself to notice anything off. Like how sad and quiet Shou was and the way he looked at him. The night would usually end up with Shou dragging his drunken self home. Damn, Tora never felt more like as asshole than that very moment.

“Tora?” the guitarist realized he must have dozed off for a good couple of minutes.

“I’m sorry” was the first thing that spilled from his mouth. “For shouting at you. And for being selfish. I…”

“It’s ok. It’s my fault for not telling you. You have every right to be mad at me.”

For a good minute neither of them said anything and it was beginning to get awkward.

“So… why did you break up?” Tora asked tentatively. There might never be another chance to ask and for some reason he really needed to know.

“Well…” Shou seemed to hesitate, “I guess I just realized he’s not the right person for me.” It was obvious he didn’t really want to talk about it so Tora didn’t push him.

“So we’re cool?” Shou asked hopefully and Tora realized he spaced out again.

No, we’re not. “Sure.” Tora tried to smile to reassure the vocalist, but it turned out really forced.

Neither of them brought up the matter after that.

 

I need to get laid. That’s what Tora told himself after yet another time Shou caught him staring at his legs. So he went to his usual drinking place with that firm resolve.

Three hours later he was sitting on his futon smoking. Alone, fully dressed and still horny.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" He kept asking himself. He managed to hook up with a really cute girl and she was very much willing. But… He just couldn’t go through with it. At some point he realized he didn’t want her. It was ridiculous.

That night he dreamt of long legs and delicate fingers and sensual lips.

 

"Tora, you’re drunk!" Shou cried out pushing the guitarist away once more.

It was a bad bad idea to go drinking together. The other guys left, Tora ended up really drunk and as usual Shou had to drag him home which wasn’t an easy task.

"Just a lil’ bit." Tora muttered with a stupid grin. The alcohol made his head light and his body heavy. For the first time in weeks he felt fully relaxed.

"Hey, I’ve been thinking…" Tora began.

"These kinds of phrases never end well." Shou muttered but the guitarist didn’t seem to hear.

"You know, I’ve been wondering for a long time now… what it would be like to kiss a man." Next to him Shou stiffened but after a moment he continued to drag the guitarist forward with what seemed to be a newfound strength. Good thing they were already near Tora’s house.

"You’re just drunk." But Tora wasn’t listening.

"So I just thought you wouldn’t mind too much…"

"Are you insane?" Now Shou was clearly angry.

"What’s the big deal? We just fool around a bit… Don’t you do it with Saga at the concerts anyway?"

"That’s… different. If you’re so curious find someone else to fool around with! Shit, just a little bit more, almost there…" the vocalist’s voice sounded panicked.

"No can do. Fans are no good. I don’t want to get arrested. And guys from other bands or staff… even worse. If the media finds out it will be really bad. I can’t risk it."

"Well, bad for you." Finally they got to Tora’s apartment.

As soon as they entered Shou deposited Tora on his futon but as he was about to leave the guitarist grabbed his arm.

"Shou…"

"No!" Shou pulled away with a strength that surprised even him. He was breathing hard.

"Look, for your sake I’m going to pretend this conversation never happened. Goodnight, Tora."

The vocalist turned away and all but ran out the door.

 

Tora woke up with a massive headache. He was fully dressed but at his own apartment.

What the fuck happened? He tried to remember but it seemed like thinking was making his head pound even more.

As fragments of last night began to flash through his mind, Tora’s eyes grew larger. Fuck. It can’t be.

 

None of them brought up that incident but it seemed like things didn’t get too awkward and Tora was very relieved.

For a week or so everything was going fine. They were working, and then working some more until they got completely exhausted. Right now Tora was glad about the amount of work, it helped him to keep his mind off things. But one evening all hell broke loose.

They were rehearsing at the studio all day. At 6 Hiroto took off saying he was meeting with friends. Nao and Saga also wrapped up for the day and went to have dinner.

"Sure you don’t want to go with us?" Nao asked once more looking a little worried.

"It’s ok. I want to finish some stuff"

"Well, suit yourself" and with that the rhythm section left. The studio was dark with only a few small lamps and the moonlight falling through the big window.

Tora kept fiddling with the song he was working on playing the melody slower and faster, changing the tempo and the pitch but it just didn’t sound right. He was getting annoyed and stubbornly didn’t want to give up. Finally he put the guitar away scowling. He cursed lighting up the n-th cigarette of the evening and proceeding to pace nervously around the studio. It was dark and Tora’s eyesight has always been bad so it was no surprise when his foot caught up in some wire and he lost his balance. But as he prepared to hit the floor something or rather someone caught him.

"Careful!" a familiar voice ringed right next to him and two delicate but strong hands held him upright. Looking up he saw a worried Shou who must have been working in a different corner of the studio.  
Tora didn’t even notice how he ended up alone with the vocalist. He must have been so caught up with his task he didn’t realize he was not alone all this time.

"Tora? Are you ok?" But Tora didn’t seem to hear him.

It was then that he realized how close they were standing. Their faces were close enough to feel each other’s breath. Shou’s face illuminated by the moonlight looked hauntingly beautiful. He’d lost a lot of weight recently which worried Tora but at the same time it made Shou’s features more sharp and defined. His skin looked ghostly pale and with his big eyes and sharp cheekbones the vocalist looked almost surreal. Unconsciously Tora’s right hand went up to trace the vocalist’s jawline. The man immediately leaned into the touch. Tora looked into the vocalist’s eyes. Admiration. Longing. So many things were written in its depths that Tora was thrown aback and snapped out of his trance. No, it was too much. What the hell was he thinking?

"I’m sorry… I… I can’t do this."

Tora turned away and quickly left the studio. He couldn’t bear to see the hurt in the vocalist’s eyes.

 

When he got to the studio the next day everyone was already there. Shou barely looked at him. Later he didn’t say anything either.

Needless to say the next week was awkward to say the least. They barely talked and when they did it was only concerning the band. The other guys shared worried glances but didn’t say anything. Tora tried to convince himself things will get back to normal eventually. He almost believed it.

 

One evening the band was working at the studio. Shou was also expected to come but for some reason he still wasn’t there.

Tora was supposed to be glad he could finally work in peace but it seemed to be the opposite. He was even more restless than usual. Nao tried to convince him to go home and rest but he was having none of it.

Tora haven’t seen Shou in a week which was unusual. Before they would always meet up during their time off. Whenever Tora had trouble or just was in a shitty mood Shou would always be there. He never prodded knowing Tora didn’t like talking about these things. Instead he would just stick around, chattering about all kinds of things and volunteering to play FPS games with Tora even though he sucked at them. Somehow it always made Tora feel at ease. But that was Shou — always patient, always understanding, never asking for anything in return. In Tora’s life nobody apart from his family cared about him as much as Shou did. But then again in a way Shou was family.

All of the thoughts running through his head made him even more depressed.

“I need a smoke. Might as well take a walk.” Tora said and went out. He really needed some fresh air to clear his head.

When the guitarist came back there was a neat stack of papers sitting on the table. Tora instantly recognized the hand writing.

“Where’s Shou?” he asked Hiroto who was sitting there.

“He came along earlier, dropped some notes and stuff and left."

“Where?”

“I don’t know. He said something about a dinner date.” Hiroto said absent-mindedly.

“With whom?”

“I think it was with this Dasoku guy?” the younger guitarist replied.

Tora felt something stirring at the pit of his stomach.

 

The next day Tora was all fidgety. They had another rehearsal but things weren’t going very well.  
Lately the atmosphere in the studio was heavy. Even the normally bright and cheerful Hiroto was quiet. Tora had a feeling he was a big part of the reason behind it. It wasn’t the mood in which wonderful songs were born, it was beginning to look like an office job.

All this time Tora refused to acknowledge this. He told himself he just needed to work harder. But now, now he couldn’t continue to lie to himself. Things were falling apart and it scared him. This band was his everything.

Shou came after lunch. He was smiling and energetic finally resembling his old self. It was a good thing, right? But why was this smile making Tora angry? It was gnawing on him like a wild beast until he could not take it any longer. Tora waited for the time when other guys were not around before cornering the vocalist.

“Do you like him?”

“Huh?” Shou blinked at him.

“Dasoku. Do you like him?” He repeated the question.

“Well, he’s my friend, of course I like him.” Shou answered calmly.

“No, not like that. I mean…” Shou’s eyes narrowed dangerously.

“What do you mean?”

“I…” normally so eloquent the guitarist just stood there unable to say a word.

“I am fed up with this!” Shou shouted and stormed off moving past a bewildered Hiroto.

An angry Shou was a rare sight and certainly not something you would want to deal with. Everyone knew that Shou was one of the sweetest people ever and it was hard to piss him off. But once you did you really wouldn’t want to get in his way.

“What did you do to piss him off?” Hiroto asked clearly annoyed.

“I didn’t do anything.”

“Right.” Hiroto looked unconvinced.

“Look, all I did was ask about his dinner yesterday.”

“Sometimes you are so thick, Tora-shi”, said Hiroto as he left after the vocalist.

Tora just kept standing there completely dumbfounded.

Shou didn’t come back and soon enough the band called it a night. The recording wasn’t getting anywhere either way.

Tora still wasn’t sure what he did wrong but he felt he needed to clear things. He kept dialling the familiar number and cancelling before the call went through. He gave up after the 4th try. “It’s better if I apologize when I see him in the morning.” That seemed like a good idea so with that in mind Tora put the phone down and went to bed.

 

The next day Tora was at the studio playing his guitar and trying to pick an arrangement for a song he’d written some time ago. Lately he couldn’t compose, inspiration seemed to have left him and so he tried to work on older material instead. Yet nothing seemed to go right. It was almost like even his guitar was against him.

Tora waited. Today he would apologize and Shou will forgive him because that’s what Shou does and everything will be back to normal.

Except Shou didn’t show up. Tora wanted to ask Hiroto whether he knew something but it seemed too ridiculous. Usually he was the one who was supposed to know. As Tora was contemplating Hiroto came in looking somewhat worried.

“Shou called. He said he was terribly sorry but he couldn’t make it today. He isn’t feeling well.”  
If Shou didn’t come to work it probably meant things were really serious. Tore knew it better than anyone. Was Shou really ill? Did something happen? So many things were running through his mind.

His inner dialogue was interrupted by Nao who said the work was almost done so they should all take a break. Everyone agreed it’s a reasonable decision. Tora didn’t object.

“I’m going.” Nao said to everyone at the studio and went for the door. As he passed by Tora he gave the guitarist a sympathetic look and a pat on the shoulder. “Just tell him.” Tora almost shouted “What?” but the drummer has already walked away. Tora just grumbled and got back to his task.

 

It was late evening and the studio was quiet with dim lights and lone staff members passing by. Everyone else went home long ago leaving the guitarist alone with his guilt. Tora knew he was just killing time but he couldn’t bring himself to make a decision. His guilty conscience was suffocating him like a snake.

As if that wasn’t bad enough suddenly his worst nightmare materialized right in front of him in the form of the band’s bassist. Where did he come from? Now this was really beginning to look like a conspiracy.

“What do you want?” Tora asked in a stern voice.

“Nao told me we shouldn’t interfere but I couldn’t just watch you ruin everything.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I heard about yesterday.”

“Why can’t you mind your own business?” Tora’s head was beginning to hurt.

“We’re in a band, Tora-shi. Things that happen between the members are everyone’s business.”

Just great. That was the last thing he needed.

“You didn’t think he was going to wait for you forever, did you?” Saga sounded almost sympathetic.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Oh, you know what I’m talking about, Tora-shi. He’s had a crush on you since forever.” Tora froze. Did he just say…?

“And they say I’m bad. Seriously, man. I told myself it’s not my business but it’s beginning to affect the band. Both of you look like hell. Make up your mind already. It’s not the time to fool around. Shou is my friend too. I hate seeing you play with his feelings.”

“I never did that!” the guitarist protested angrily.

“Anyway, if you won’t do anything about it I’ll be forced to take measures.”

“This is ridiculous!” Tora was getting seriously pissed off. Who did this guy think he was?

“If you don’t go and talk to him I shall go and offer him my consolation services.” Saga didn’t look like he was joking.

“You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.” Saga said his voice calm and even. Was he for real?

“Shou is not like that. He’d never buy that.”

“Well, maybe you’re right. But after all the shit you’ve done I’d say my chances aren’t bad.”

“Shut up! What do you know?” He really wanted to punch that sculptured face.

“Are you an idiot? Because it seems so.” Tora has reached his limit. He grabbed Saga by the collar and pushed him against the wall.

“Say it again and I’ll hit you.” Saga didn’t flinch.

“Go on. If it makes you feel better. You know I’m right.” Tora just stood there breathing heavily. Finally he stepped back and walked out of the studio.

 

Tora walked and walked without a destination. His head was filled with so many questions. Everything was so confusing. He tried to figure out how it ended up like this and when exactly it began. When did this friendship turn into something quite different entirely?

Surely it wasn’t when they met. When Tora first saw Shou the latter sang in this heavy metal band and had horrible makeup smudged all over his face. Tora did think he was cool though. Nor later when they met in his hometown and Tora saw a thin shy boy with a violent blinking habit. But that day they walked and talked for hours and it felt like they were good friends even though they just met. Maybe it was when they had formed Alice Nine? Tora couldn’t remember any changes in his feelings. He did remember though thinking that Shou looked really pretty and almost doll-like in that outfit and make-up.

There were so many moments, so many feelings pushed to the back of his mind. It’s like something unlocked inside Tora’s head and all these memories began replaying in his mind. That time back in Givuss when he punched a guy for calling Shou girly. The moment Shou smiled at him for the first time after fixing his teeth and it took Tora’s breath away. And the one where he burst into tears at the end of their last concert at Shibuya AX and Shou hugged him tight and kept whispering “It’s ok. It’s gonna be ok. We made it, Tora. We made it!” And then the time when Shou had tears running down his pale tired face when after a long acupuncture session Tora was finally able to feel his hand again. And all the countless times when during the lives their gazes met and Tora felt this strange warmth spreading through his body.

Could it be…that it was there all along? That it was a seed he wouldn’t let grow?

There was just one way to find out.

 

Finally his feet brought him to a familiar apartment complex.

Tora took a deep breath and pressed the button. It had to be about 2 AM but Tora couldn’t wait until morning. He had a distinct feeling the other man wouldn’t be sleeping either. “Shou, it’s me.” There was a slight pause, some fumbling and finally the door opened. 

Shou was dressed in an old T-shirt and sweatpants and slippers. He looked tired and sleepy, nothing like the glamorous version of him you see in PVs. Yet he looked so homely Tora felt a strange longing deep in his chest.

Shou’s eyes widened slightly but he stepped aside to let Tora in.

For a few long moments they stood in silence and Tora suddenly felt that with every second tickling by the distance between them grows. That thought triggered something inside him and he finally spoke.

“Sorry for coming so late. Are you alright? You didn’t come today so I wanted to make sure.”

“Ah, I’m fine. Don’t worry. I think I caught a cold, didn’t want anyone to get sick.”

A half-truth, ok, Tora thought. Shou was smiling albeit a bit weakly. “I’m glad you came.” he added and Tora felt he had to say it now.

“Shou…”

He wasn’t able to finish though because in a second he got himself an armful of a warm body. After the initial surprise he felt a deep relief. He put his arms around Shou and just let himself enjoy the warmth and the familiar scent. He didn’t realize how much he missed this. He didn’t want to let go. Ever.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry. For… everything. Lately I really acted like a jerk.”

“I was so worried.” Shou murmured. It was amazing how easily the man could forgive.

“I’m so sorry.” Was all Tora could say as he held the slender vocalist tighter.

When they finally stepped back Shou spoke quietly:  
“Look, let’s just forget about everything that happened. I… I can’t afford to lose you.”

It was oh so tempting to just forget about it. Tora knew it was his last chance. But no, he wasn’t going to back off now.

“What if I don’t want to?”

Shou looked up surprised. Clearly he wasn’t expecting such a turn of events. Tora continued.

“I didn’t just come to apologize. I came to tell you something important. Something I should have said years ago but didn’t have the guts to.”

Shou just looked at him patiently waiting for him to continue.

“You were always a good friend to me. The best friend anyone could ever want. You’ve always been there for me and I can’t imagine my life without you. But there’s more.” The guitarist took a deep breath before continuing.

“All this time I wasn’t able to accept something really important. I was afraid it might ruin our friendship and I tried to ignore it but then I realized it was there all along. Sorry, I’m probably not making any sense but… What I want to say is… Shou, I like you. A lot. You know, not just as a friend, but…”

Shou was staring at him with an unreadable expression.

“I accused you of not being honest while all this time it was me who was lying. To myself mostly. I tried to stay away from you but it was hurting us both so I decided the only way to fix it was to tell you.” Why was this so hard? 

“I know I don’t have the right to… after everything I’ve done. If you’re already seeing someone I’ll understand…”

“It wasn’t a date.” Shou interrupted him “I was just joking. Dasoku is just a friend.”

“Oh.” Was all Tora could muster. Then that means… Tora realized he must have spaced out again because the other man began to talk.

“So…”, Shou tried. “Do you still want to know what it’s like to kiss a man?” he asked biting his lower lip.

“Not really.” Tora replied but before Shou could react he added: “I just want to know what it’s like to kiss you.”

“Are you sure you’re not going to freak out? You know, being friends for so long…”

Tora thought about it for a moment. It was kind of sudden and kind of inevitable at the same time. But either way he knew he wanted it. His whole body wanted it and not just the body. He looked at Shou. The man was obviously trying to hide his nervousness, his eyes were shifting quickly and his hands fumbling almost as if he expected to be rejected. And then the last of Tora’s doubts were erased. It wasn’t some guy he was going to kiss. It was Shou. His Shou.

“No, absolutely not.”

With that ever so slowly he began to get closer. Shou’s eyes shuttered close and those delicate pink lips that tempted him so for the last several months were slightly parted in invitation.

Shou’s lips turned out as soft and smooth as they looked. The kiss was slow and tender, just testing the waters. It was a familiar and yet a completely new territory but one Tora was all too willing to explore. With his right hand he stroked Shou’s cheek slowly. The skin under the chin was a little rough reminding Tora that he was indeed kissing a man but surprisingly enough it didn’t bother him.

After a few minutes Tora went still and pulled away. Shou reluctantly opened his eyes. There was worry and slight disappointment evident on his face.

“You are freaking out, aren’t you?”

“No, it’s not like that. I mean of course it will take time for me to get used to this. But… I really want to try. With you.” Shou smiled.

“But now I should go.” Tora said suddenly.

“Why?”

“Because if I stay I would want to do other things to you.”

“Is it bad?” Shou sounded a little hurt and Tora found it hard not to give in but no, that wasn’t the plan.

“Shou…” he began, taking Shou’s smaller hands in his marvelling at how right it felt. “Look, I don’t want us to become friends with benefits. You deserve better than that. I was taking you for granted for too long. I want to do this properly. Do you understand?”

Shou nodded but he still seemed a little disappointed.

“Good. Thank you. I’ll call you.”

A soft kiss on the forehead and Tora was out the door. As soon as the door closed Shou leaned against the wall and slid down with a sigh.


End file.
